Learn, from your mistake

Chinese New Year, an awesome celebration to get as much ang pau as you can and gather with all your cousins and I am the one who are prohibit to celebrate. According to the tradition, law had said that we should not celebrate the coming Chinese New Year if one of your grandparents had passed away for the very first year so it is happening to my family, my grandma had just passed away few months ago.

 Photo credit to: http://blasphemedsoldier.deviantart.com/art/Everything-pass-away-only-I-41290342

The aim not to celebrate the Chinese New Year is showing a respect to your grandparents and it is reasonable. I do not blame for this whole boring day but instead that, I am actually missing my grandma. Yesterday was the lunar 31 which is the last day for last year and today is the new year. Family and I went back to my grandma's home like what we used to be every single week before my grandma had passed away.

I never saw my grandma's house locked once in my lifetime but now, this is the first time, the house is locked and maybe... the forever. Now, I feel I am a super bad ass that I am the only one who always claimed there is nothing for me, I am childish to claim my grandma's home as a village and claimed themselves as villagers.

I can't stand with all the dust due to my sensitive nose that might keep sneezing everytime when my family asked to overnight there. I can't stand with the super bad line connection that might lead me out of social network that make me feel insecure and I hate all those super crowded people inside a house, to be honest I always have antisocial personality disorder that might lead me not to talk with anyone.

But then, is this small little thing that would bother about? There is the problem that I always focus on the small little disadvantages rather than the general. The most important thing is that we gather, share the joyness and interact to know more each other but how much I did for that? Not much, I spent my whole life to hate, critic and complain, people always realize something right after something happened.

Be a greater person, don't be a childish person. Hating around the world does not make you feel better but just make you feel worse. Lesson learned, you can't going back to the past but moving forward is another way for you to be a better person.

Learn from mistake, improve yourself is the only way that might make you feel better from the past and, I do believe my grandma will feel proud of me. I miss you grandma. Perhaps, my experience would inspire you. Forgiven can be given if you try not to repeat the mistake, take your first step to change yourself.

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."    

- C. S. Lewis