Learn, from your mistake

Chinese New Year, an awesome celebration to get as much ang pau as you can and gather with all your cousins and I am the one who are prohibit to celebrate. According to the tradition, law had said that we should not celebrate the coming Chinese New Year if one of your grandparents had passed away for the very first year so it is happening to my family, my grandma had just passed away few months ago.

 Photo credit to: http://blasphemedsoldier.deviantart.com/art/Everything-pass-away-only-I-41290342

The aim not to celebrate the Chinese New Year is showing a respect to your grandparents and it is reasonable. I do not blame for this whole boring day but instead that, I am actually missing my grandma. Yesterday was the lunar 31 which is the last day for last year and today is the new year. Family and I went back to my grandma's home like what we used to be every single week before my grandma had passed away.

I never saw my grandma's house locked once in my lifetime but now, this is the first time, the house is locked and maybe... the forever. Now, I feel I am a super bad ass that I am the only one who always claimed there is nothing for me, I am childish to claim my grandma's home as a village and claimed themselves as villagers.

I can't stand with all the dust due to my sensitive nose that might keep sneezing everytime when my family asked to overnight there. I can't stand with the super bad line connection that might lead me out of social network that make me feel insecure and I hate all those super crowded people inside a house, to be honest I always have antisocial personality disorder that might lead me not to talk with anyone.

But then, is this small little thing that would bother about? There is the problem that I always focus on the small little disadvantages rather than the general. The most important thing is that we gather, share the joyness and interact to know more each other but how much I did for that? Not much, I spent my whole life to hate, critic and complain, people always realize something right after something happened.

Be a greater person, don't be a childish person. Hating around the world does not make you feel better but just make you feel worse. Lesson learned, you can't going back to the past but moving forward is another way for you to be a better person.

Learn from mistake, improve yourself is the only way that might make you feel better from the past and, I do believe my grandma will feel proud of me. I miss you grandma. Perhaps, my experience would inspire you. Forgiven can be given if you try not to repeat the mistake, take your first step to change yourself.

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."    

- C. S. Lewis

Pretty defined pretty,is that true?

Dear Pretty,

What you think about pretty? The inner heart you refer to, or the outside? Generally, people with nice looking defined as pretty, but is that the real definition for pretty? According to Oxford dictionary, it is an attractive in a delicate way without truly beautiful.

In fact, sometimes beauty is an icon for people, people might want to be them, or with them. In magazines or TV ad, you probably will see all those people with nice looking, they defined beauty, noble, temptation and confident. Some of them became our idol and K-pop I guess is a huge influence and iconic for "pretty" in Asia.Besides, some might have a thought for cosmetic surgery.

What's about the people who do not really define as nice looking? They do not deserve to be loved? They do not deserve live as a beauty? There is other fact that people who do not have nice looking have better friends than those people who have nice looking.

In psychological way, people tend to attract by beautiful thing, there is one of the reason why beauty have more friends than for those who are not. Generally, we can see beauty always surrounded with beauty, it is like a magnet field and the attraction will always be there when those magnet is coming out for dinner or even a meal.

                                                          This photo credit to talkvietnam.com

For my opinion, I strongly agree that there is never an ugly exists in our life. There is some thought you should change.Beauty, is actually only an attraction from the skin and it will be no longer there, the time would steal the beauty but a beautiful inner heart, will stay longer and stronger than the outside one.

God is fair, beautiful inside the heart probably have better friends than those who are not. It is right you think that you have lesser friends than those who have nice looking but in fact, did you know how much will stay longer? Much of the people be with them just for fame, there is a lot without the true heart.

I am here to tell those people who have low self-esteem, beautiful can't stay longer and it would be gone one day but beautiful inner heart will never ever be gone and it will grow more beautiful due to the time. Stop envy for those who you think they are better than us, we are actually live better than them. We are same, we live with different way and in fact beauty might feel envious for those who are not as well.

                                    People with simple smile is pretty. =)

Sincerely,
Me

“Nobody should be judged on their looks. Beauty is not found on the body but in the soul. The only thing the media has done is change the definition of the word. I mean being attractive may make it easier to catch some one but being kind and loving is how you keep some one. Also with make up its like putting on a mask some masks are creative and fun most others are just used to cover who you really are up. Be yourself.” 
― Danyon Guthrie-lewis

Letter For Grandmother

Dear Perfectionist,

I had a dream, which I met my grandmother who had passed away, she smiled at me, I almost cried when I saw her.She just smiled, with her beautiful smile, I am so missing my grandmother actually.I tried to hug her but just I brought back to the reality on that moment.

Perhaps, she is living somewhere happily as what I saw her yesterday.She does not look scary but still I felt that warm feeling from that short dream.There is a moment I forgot the reality and missing about my dream and I am so thankful to this dream because it helped me to realize some depressed.

Tomorrow is a gift for you to start again, yesterday is a lesson for you to learn how to be perfect and today is the day you are so lucky to have it, use wisely any second that you got in your hand.Never regret what have you done, feeling shame if you do not use your time wisely.

Sincerely,
Mortal outside the mirror

“At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets.” 
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Light Me A Candle

Dear silent night,

Night, still there to accompany me until the dawn has come.Night is a dark magic, it brought unconcious emotional, and loneliness.Middle of the night, I was thinking about why still awake and the reason why I need to struggle on.

I got a call from my parents, she was thinking about me.As a son, I did nothing much for them, just thinking that I am way too selfish for certain things.I was working as a dealer after my secondary six, I do not really give much for my parents.In this moment, I miss my family.

It is raining now, like God knows what I am feeling now. I depressed and stress, due to my academic concern.In this night, I couldn't call myself as a perfectionist but as a normal person.I am so sick to think so much for my future, just I need some rest for tonight, perhaps the music would bring me to the better place.

Goodbye happiness, intelligence and health

Sincerely,
Yuen Sheng

Endless Journey

Dear Perfectionist,

It is an amazing day, a revision day.There is an endless journey, we do not know how far we are going to.Like a sun, with a moon, so near yet so far, a minute, maybe hours, from light to darkness, we met at least once.

Stress is necessary for a perfectionist, perhaps it would be affected a person to do something but sometimes it does not work.Strength, born with different field, might be stamina, academic or artistic but it does not define a person.Sometimes, strength, can be formed, from your hard work.People might think why he/she is so weak compared to others but in fact that, every single hard work the person paid, every single achievement started to grow, just the matter of time.

Precious, somehow is an adjective that suitable for time.Do appreciate every moment to learn, gaining knowledge is something you would never regret to.Learn while you are young, but people have right to choose what they wanted to.Road has been taken, it is the matter you wanted to proceed or not.

Sincerely,
Mortal outside the mirror

“It is not that I'm so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.” 
― Albert Einstein

Letter for A Perfectionist

Dear Perfectionist,

I've been thinking for so long to reopen a blog and finally, today I launch my blogger life again.Perhaps, it would be different with the previous since the previous is almost talking about my past so I would like to emphasize on my future in this brand new blog.

Perfectionist, a word that doesn't really sound like me but why?In fact, I hope I would like to be an achiever rather than perfectionist but my odd, perhaps it would bring me to the prefect one.Simple life, is something I always emphasize but challenges never bring one person to a simple life, as well as normal life.

I am an adventurer, trying to beyond the boundaries every single moment.In additional, I could not deny that I am a sentimental and emotional person compared to others.Song, like an orchestra, like a conductor, deeply control my emotional, bring me down when review about my past, bring me confident when trying to start something new, bring me some mixture emotion when I am with my friends, colleagues, even sometimes with my parents.

Time, perhaps he could cure me from my pain and he did, with more painful things to cover the previous one.Dear perfectionist, what makes him stand there for so long is that sometimes, he sees nothing, hears nothing and pretend everything is fine.The most amazing moment the perfectionist faced is that he tried to be perfect(good doesn't define him), he made his weaknesses became the proudest,  he took his agony as a lesson, he choose the road have not taken and the last thing was, he believe in faith, miracle is something he knew it is going to be happened in the future.

Sincerely,
Mortal outside the mirror

“You must learn some of my philosophy. Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.” 
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice